In the closing hours of 2008, it is time to reflect a little on this turbulent year.
I have been heartened by how many people have worked together to peacefully and agreeably iron out their differences to reach creative agreements in settling their divorce and/or parenting issues. Even when just the fact of divorce has been hurtful, I've watched parents work together to make sure that their children have the benefit of two loving households. I've seen parents put their children's needs before their own to create plans that allow their children to thrive, despite divorce or separation.
On the other hand, I've worked with parents who have not been able to let go of the conflict between them, even years after their divorce or separation. I've watched children shrink a bit as parents have put more energy into their anger with each other than they put into building up the children. I've seen parents use the children as weapons to hurt the other parent without considering how their actions hurt the children.
As 2009 opens in a few hours, here are my wishes for the year:
• That all parents will respect and honor their children.
• That all parents will put their children's needs before their own.
• That parents during and after divorce or separation will talk to each other as they would to their boss or a customer.
• That parents will let go of their conflict and anger with each other so they can use that energy in positive ways to build relationships with their children
MOST OF ALL, I WISH FOR PEACE, LOVE, AND PROSPERITY FOR ALL IN THIS UPCOMING YEAR!
What are your wishes for 2009?
© 2008, Mary Wollard, J.D., Family Solutions Center, www.cofamilysolutions.com